Wombs for rent - really!

Creepy Crawlies ... I just had one of those "I had NO idea THIS was happening" moments reading this.... so sad. I think Judith Warner is a really good writer. I loved her last book (Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety) and recommended it to all my friends and bookclub group several years ago. I'll add her to my favorites.

" Because what’s going on in India – where surrogacy is estimated now to be a $445-million-a-year business — feels like a step toward the kind of insane dehumanization that filled the dystopic fantasies of Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World” and Margaret Atwood’s “Handmaid’s Tale.” (One “medical tourism” website, PlanetHospital.com, refers to the Indian surrogate mother as a mere “host.”) Images of pregnant women lying in rows, or sitting lined up, belly after belly, for medical exams look like industrial outsourcing pushed to a nightmarish extreme.

I say “feels like” and “look like” because I can’t quite bring myself to the point of saying “is.” And in this, I think, I am right in the mainstream of American thought on the topic of surrogate motherhood"

Read the Marie Claire article too by Abigail Haworth! I find my predjudice raising against busy mom's-to-be who either forgot or were too busy when they were younger. I think that is different situation than say a woman who has had a hysterectomy early-on because of some medical condition or genetic situation. I think I could understand the overwhelming desire for a child of one's own, but not in the same desperate way I would if for example it was a life-and-death issue, like if you needed a heart or kidney transplant or you are going to die. There are a lot of issues here that relate to BioMedical Ethics. But its also a matter of educating young women ( the premise I think of Judith's book) that you really cannot have everything you want when you want it -especially here in America, Motherhood is just not supported socially by the government -early OR late. So people wait, until they are better off financially. If you want something badly enough, you might have to settle for Mr. Average in your late 20's instead of waiting 15 years for George Clooney to be available when YOU think you are ready in your mid-30's. Or don't have kids at all. Or Adopt when you feel like you'd be "read-ier", but don't wait too long there either or the birth mom's will think you're too old.

On the other hand, those women surrogates in India are really in a bad situation too. Some worse than others. One surrogate in the article was doing this so she could provide a dowry for her daughters to have a good marriage- even though dowries are supposed to be illegal in India! I think women are doing this for both good and bad reasons on both sides -desperation on both sides - to fulfill an economic necessity or a biological desire, or even an expectation of "completeness" of family size.

I can't imagine that I'd ever be that desperate to have my "own" baby. Maybe I would have been... I don't know. That said, from the little I know about adoption, it sounds like there is so much paperwork, money, and time needed for that too. I should ask my neighbor L. about this. She went through in vitro a lot of times. I'm so glad they ended up with S. 13 yrs ago! She's J's best friend. They are the best parents too- I'm so lucky to have them as neighbors!